Guilt
Have you ever just instantly felt guilt?
Guilty of not being enough for someone. Not doing enough in the household. Not being a good enough mother.
I have felt that guilt often. When I look around my kitchen and see the mess, I feel guilty for not cleaning it up..but to be honest.. some days I'm just exhausted. I'm overwhelmed. It spirals my anxiety a little more out of control.
Guilt for the mom rage I experience with my two kids. It's not physical but its yelling..and my gosh I HATE to yell. It brings me back to when my dad yelled at us and I can feel the emotion explode from my body.
"we were just playing" my 6 year old says..eyes swelling with tears.
Why am I feeling this guilt? Because maybe what I'm doing isn't ok?
The thing about guilt, is that when you feel it, you can stand up and apologize or make a change. Good can come from that guilt. Productivity can come from that guilt.
When I find myself yelling at my kids and feel that instant regret and guilt I stand up and apologize. I let them know that mommy lost her cool for a second and that yelling may not have been the best approach. I let them know I am sorry.
When I look at my kitchen and see the mess. See the clutter and feel overwhelmed and guilty about not doing anything about it, I create a system. A system that helps keep me more organized and do a couple things a day so that I don't feel overwhelmed and anxious. You can download my free guide here that has been super helpful.
Instead of me just playing on this cycle, over and over again. Yelling and apologizing. I step back and take a hard look at the root. What is causing my to yell, to feel anxious, overwhelmed in the first place?
I take a look at the potential triggers.
I take a look at the potential triggers.
Is it past trauma? My phone? A person in my life?
What's the cause of the out lash to begin with? What is the reason for the clutter? Why am I feeling anxious about a certain situation?
Triggers.
I often have to take a step back and re focus. Think about WHY I am feeling a certain way or acting a certain way. What is triggering me to behave like this?
I'm going to share with you one of my biggest triggers with my mom rage. You can also read more about mom rage here. This may relate to you. It may help open your mind up to what your own triggers are.
- My phone. When the kids are around and I find myself mindlessly scrolling through facebook, or doing work on my phone, I find myself more on edge for whatever reason. Anytime I have one of my "mom rage" episodes, it's typically when I am doing something on my phone.
Knowing that is a trigger for myself and my "mom rage" I need to make it a priority to have phone free time when I get home from work, until my kids go to sleep.
I need to start making it a priority to do my online work during the daytime, when my kids are at school. And that if I need to get something done when they are home to communicate that with them and let them know that mommy needs to do something on her phone for a moment. Communication is HUGE friend. Especially for the littles.
I need to realize that the mindless scrolling is not worth it. If that's going to cause me to lash out, why allow it to happen? Setting a timer, for 15 minutes of scroll time, will be so much more productive for me.
These are the positive steps I will be taking going forward.
So friend, when you are feeling the guilt from a sittuation...do not sit there and let it consume you. Stand up, apologize and take a positive step forward. Find the trigger for the mishap in the first place and make a change.
Mommas. If you'd like to become part of our positive community, head over here to get the stepping stones to success for supporting your anxiety and feeling like an overworked mom.
